PERFECTION.

My apologies for the YouTube video and not simply the song itself, but this came on when I was looking for music today and talk about goosebumps. This is going to be perfect for my Gramps video :)

At least FOUR.

We were cookin up a little pasta dish the other night and I asked Dave if we could use up the stuff from my house. He pulls this guy out of the cupboard and I knew its sort of old but, wow. Best if used by date? 2008! For pasta!!! You know how many times I've moved and to how many different states!? While this specific box probably spent a lot of time in my parents basement, it's no doubt traveled to at least FOUR states. Holy crap I really should make an effort to keep food items out of the "kitchen" box, yea? :) cheers!

THANK YOU FOR A GREAT WEEKEND MOM!

Mom comes to Portland and despite the long list of awesome wonderful things I'd love to show her here, we headed out par David's rad suggestion, to Silver Falls! :) And what a day! It was the most perfect day! (cheesy, cheesy I know, but it's true!) I can't say how much fun it is to have a friend to skip around and be silly with :) Anyway, Silver Falls is a big series of waterfalls that you can stop, hike anywhere from less than a mile to four, and explore up to ten (or more?) waterfalls in a day. It's a freaking blast and has become one of my favorite getaways from Portland! There are 3 waterfalls, count it folks, THREE!, that you can walk behind and marvel at the magnitude. 

It was all too fun and I am so thankful to have Mom come visit so quickly after Gramps funeral. And, would you believe it, we went to the gym both mornings at the hotel! :) And had healthy breakfasts and got a good amount of sleep! Fabulous relaxation and a fun new hotel explored down on the water. He he. Thanks for the spoiled weekend, mom :) 

Just hangin' out behind a waterfall. :) No big deal! 

Children's Story Book Wisdom.

Star Wars & Puppy Dogs

Titled "Dark Side", I kept waiting for something black and evil to overtake this all too cute scene, but forget it ladies and gentleman, it isn't coming. Many thanks to my brother's all-too-adorable girlfriend Sarah, for passing this one along :)

 I did have to look up what the costume was that the dog walking out in the end was (cough, Imperial Walker, cough) because it's definitely my favorite part! I work next to a boarding kennel and our customers ask us each and every day if we get tired of all the barking and without even stopping I can't help but smile wide and politely respond, "Never, not at all." Go Dogs, You rock. 

In the words of Albert Einstein...

The Phone Stack

THIS IS FABULOUS and I do hope you partake one day. Cheers, friends! 

(from Kempt.)

We usually take a pretty hard line against phones at dinner, but a new trick just popped up that gives us hope for the future.

It’s called a phone stack, and it’s a buzzing, flashing reminder of every phone-etiquette rule the world seems to have forgotten.

It works like this: as you arrive, each person places their phone facedown in the center of the table. (If you’re feeling theatrical, you can go for a stack like this one, but it’s not required.) As the meal goes on, you’ll hear various texts and emails arriving… and you’ll do absolutely nothing. You’ll face temptation—maybe even a few involuntary reaches toward the middle of the table—but you’ll be bound by the single, all-important rule of the phone stack.

Whoever picks up their phone is footing the bill.

It’s a brilliant piece of social engineering, masquerading as a bar game. It takes the phone out of the pocket—where you can sneak a glance and hope nobody notices—and places it in the center of attention at all times. Suddenly, picking up your phone is the big deal you always secretly knew it was. And more importantly, it comes with consequences.

But if, after the third ring, you decide your call is more important than your lunch tab, we’re sure your friends won’t object.

SOLID.

Have you seen this family?! :)

I know you've seen at least one of the people in this picture, and my friends, if you've seen me, you've seen my family. It's crazy to realize how much of each one of these people are in my blood. There are little things about myself that I won't understand or feel alienated by, worried that I'm different and wondering what's wrong with me, when in reality, I'm just a Clerget :) With a good side of Turner! And there's nothing wrong with me at all! :) We are all so incredibly different, and that's what's first to notice, but then as the conversation gets going, the stories start rolling, and opinions are shared (trust me, there's plenty!) you begin to see how incredibly alike we all are! I do wish that this picture included my cousins Derek & his wife Angela, as well as another Aunt and Uncle of mine, but I am so thankful to have this group in this setting at Gram and Gramp's house. See them there in the middle? Talk about the pillars of the family. What to do, where to go? Call Gram and Gramp. It was unfortunate to have come together on a rare January day, but how wonderful to spend that moment with people you see so often. Knowing that you were all feeling it and still are feeling the loss of Grandpa, somehow makes it a little easier. Because we know it isn't easy for anyone. 

It's odd to think that this picture will hang in my house for all time and someday, either to my brother's kids or my own, I will be pointing out faces they won't be able to hug. To talk to. To get to know. To learn from. How strange they will just be the people in this picture and the persons in our stories. It was fun to look at the picture with Sarah as she went through and tried to name each one. It's new to us! A new person, someone who doesn't know everything about everyone, it's all fresh! And funny because how can you not know their names?! :) Growing up with Trav, Chase, Doug, Melinda, Shane and Derek, they really aren't cousins but more of distant siblings! 

Aw, Grandpa. Always with a vest on and always looking sharp :) Right up till they probably forced the suspenders off of him was he always dressed nice in slacks and a shirt with suspenders and recently a vest. Always smelled nice and looked sharp. 5 a.m. up and at um, even if it means a nap at 8 :) Looking at each one of us in the photo in relation to the big guy that started it all, I realize, go be who you are. Make your own legacy. Build your own troupe. Yes, you are a member of your family, you hold that name proudly, but do not forget that we are our own individuals destined for our own legacies and it's up to us to embrace that and pursue life with determination and grace. Grow from your roots and create your self.

I think one of my favorite parts of this picture is the presents on the floor by Chase :) Those are legit presents and that is a group of people ready to open!  

End of Days

This isn't my handiwork, as much as I'd like to say it is. It's my friends' Tyler Knott Gregson and he shared it with me when I was chatting with him about death and what it does to a family, and to an individual. I laid in bed a good hour this morning working something like this out in my head, but Tyler's version written just a few days ago, really makes me smile :)


Always love you, Grandpa. Thank you for starting out all of us with a great life and a great example. 

End of Days - Tyler Knot Gregson

How will it come, when my number is up and my name has been
called and the queue is behind me, and behind me alone?  How
will I meet my end?  Will it be swift?  Will it be long and
drawn out and will I know the truth behind agony?  Will I
scream or will I close my eyes quietly and let a smile crawl
across my lips for the very last time? Maybe, just maybe if
I am lucky enough, my lightning will come back to finish
the job she started 16 years ago.  Maybe she so badly missed
my skin and bones and the way my blood sounded floating through
my heart that she will one day break down and need to find me
again.  Maybe she will make it quick and show me everything
the universe is made of in those brief moments before the heat
and the flash and the starting over.  Maybe her light will be
the sunshine of my next life, blinding me all over again.  
However, whenever and whyever, I will not be afraid.  I can
promise you this.  I will be ready to start over and do it
better that time than I did this time.  To love more and hate 
less, to try more and fail more too.  To hope, with all the beats
of my naive and optimistic heart.  To say it, whatever it may
be and to whomever it should be said to, the first time, without
waiting or hesitating or thinking of so many reasons not to. I
will cry more, laugh more, dream more, and write even more
than I already do.  I will love the forests and I will love
the trees, the pieces and the whole, I will love.  More.  So
much love that no one will have any idea what to do with me.  
They will watch me with a confused look and wonder why I give
so much and do not ask for more in return.  I will give it
because giving it IS getting it and there is nothing quite so
important as emptying your heart out every single day and
leaving nothing undone, no declarations of it unsaid.  I will
not only stop and smell the flowers, I will plant them myself
and watch them grow old with me.  I will pull over and dance
in every single rainfall and I will make snow angels even when
there is hardly any snow left for the wings.  I will never, ever
believe in the words “too Late” because it’s never too late
to be exactly what you wish, do exactly what you should, say
exactly what needs to be heard, and live the exact life you
should be living.

I want to meet Death and shake the hand of my maker covered
in flesh decorated with scars and ink and the secret stories
that only they can tell.  I want her to look me up and look
me down and raise an eyebrow when she realizes that I have
the sea in my veins and that I have from the moment of my
birth.  That in all her years of picking up those that
cannot pick themselves up again, she’s never met anyone
quite like me. 

It's all happening

I will never forget this salted caramel hot chocolate. This day. My grandpa. The man who held the family together. Who worked so hard and knew so much. My gram. This birthday. The way I want to live my life with purpose. And make something of myself. Of my family. I want nothing more than to be near them now.
More than anything. Nothing else will suffice. I dont even want to tell people my grandpa passed away because he is so much more than that. How do I begin to explain? I can't. He wasnt just a grandpa, he was everything. WAS. What am I saying? I don't want to say it happened because they will say they are sorry and I will just want to hit them because they don't understand. I don't want to hit you. How could you? He was the man. More than the man. I'm numb. Dang it all. He was great. So great.

We are a lot closer of a family than I realized. Calls don't stop and no one has much of anything to say but lite of I love you's and I'm sorrys and sighs/tears. What I would give to be with any of them, all of them. We all need a big fat hug that lasts all day. Warm embraces of mutual understanding, forgiveness and comfort. No words can say.

Most the pain comes from the realization but so much crashes in when I think of my Gram. And my Dad. And my cousins pseudo siblings Doug and Melinda. And Danny. Their relationships with gramps is ripping their hearts right now. I've never heard my gram like that. And she's so strong. I could hardly stand to listen to her voice and we maybe exchanged a few words. Mostly mumbling and shaky voices.

What grandpa flies for fun and takes his grand kids in the plane to go get
Clam Chowder from his favorite place? And flies you over an old nuclear plant on the way? Who shows you up skiing on Scorpion skis doing 360s with Gram? What gram and gramp navigate the Yukon on their own, complete with close firearm encounters of "indigenous people"? What single Dad raises six kids? Creates jobs? Puts his grand kids through college? All 12 of us if we wanted. Who?

Gramps, you are the greatest.