Try. Try not to cry.

I just can't stop staring at this photo. It inflicts so many emotions you don't what to feel except that you want to hug him, learn from him and then... have this for your own self and someone else. What a feeling. What a feat. What a joy.

I'm a Country Girl, through and through.

It occurred to me today that I miss the country more than I have ever realized. That I am a country girl no matter what, despite all odds and past experiences and future dreams. I belong in the open. With the animals. And the laughter. And the work. And the sun and the snow. Where you find beauty in the earth and all the things it can grow and feed. Where words aren't necessary to convey feelings and their is no meaningless chatter. You sit with a friend creek-side fishing for a whole afternoon without saying much at all, and you like that way. Because your dogs are napping next to you and the fish, well, they're hardly biting but who cares. Because the air is sweet, the sun is warm and LIFE. IS. GOOD. You wake up early because that's when the sun rises and man was intended to do the same. You spend Sunday's with loved ones whether you like it or not. You bake your neighbor pies. You KNOW your neighbor. You feed their dogs when they're out of town. Your kids stay at their house because they can eat anything they want there. You have a tree fort in your backyard. Or you don't, but it's on the list for the weekend. Because why would you go shopping? Shopping? I don't need anything from the store. Maybe some milk and bread? :) You have more than one cat because you can't stand to stop feeding them outside. And you'd rather spend that extra money on something, someone, else than yourself. You've got everything you need.

I miss the country. I miss the farm. I miss my baby Chip. Named after chocolate chip because she was dark brown. Danny's baby was Casey. And then came Milkshake. Who when I was home last I ran into our old neighbors and they said they still had her around because they didn't have the heart to sell her. I bawled immediately. With Joy. She was the sweetest thing! I miss her. I miss Lassie. And Rocky. The dog we found on the side of the road on the way home that became the 3rd child and when he got cancer we broke all rules and let him in the house. Because he was getting so thin and weak we couldn't stand it. And watching him lie there with that look on the face slowly melting is one of the hardest things I've ever seen. In my life. Easily. Next to seeing my Dad cry for the first time when our Great Grandpa died. That stuff shakes you deep, deep down. It can't not when you love something that hard. I don't think our family said much in the way of conversation when Rocky passed. I know my pops didn't. I love that about my Dad. The guy gets a bond with our dogs like you couldn't believe and when a man that hard opens himself up to something, it really gets ya. And you love him for it. Because he's got something to love, to confide in. A friend. I'm rambling. Welcome to my life.

I miss buying my boots at the start of every summer with the money I earned from last summer. 10 cents a pipe. I kept damn good track of all the irrigation we moved. I miss shopping out of the JC Penny catalog with my money and thinking how fresh I was. Dammit I was a sweet little naive being. Who thought my brother was THE. COOLEST, person on the planet. I wanted to be his friend so bad. I miss our garden. Our crappy little garden because you couldn't grow a damn thing outside of potatoes and rhubarb in Oregon.

Hot damn I can't wait to someday be back amongst the mountains, the people that wave as you pass by,  and the peace of mind reading a book or the paper on the porch where the dogs lie at your feet and when you hear a car you look to your mate and say "Must be Bradley". :) Thanks Mom and Dad for the greatest, hands down, way to grow up of all time. You taught us passion and love for a lot of things living the way we did and it was rough at the time, and in the same breath, it really wasn't at all :)

Handing our free laughs this YouTube video is.

Chair.

This corner patiently awaits a little chair. Not little in size, in innocence :) A comfy, cozy snuggle in me little chair where you can read and plan your next adventure. Where you write the letter to the friend you've been missing a lot lately. Or always. A chair with a blanket draped over the side to kick off that little bite of chill and ease you into a nap. 

Where are you little chair?