BIG surprise.

I've procrastinated. So the jury has concluded its not just a habit of undergrads. Its got to be genetic because it surely doesn't have anything to do with maturity (cough, cough) Thing is, its for my night class, and our project isn't due until the end of March! Sooo, I've got some time. I know, I know, not a lot, BUT SOME! Said procrastination is after more than my Masters degree... I am running out of time to watch The Untouchables! I rented it weeks ago and iTunes is soon going to take it back from me if I don't do something about it.

HOLD THE PHONE CAPTAIN ROGERS, WE'VE GOT NEPAL ON THE LINE!

hey there kids! yes, i'm talking to all you 25+ :)

i'm a dork.

give it a try :)

escuela, you make me smile.

Well, its week three for me of classes and its a 50/50 gig. I have Language Arts and History three times a week (revert back to Sophomore year Ad Building if you will), and while they are enjoyable because its new information, and I love me some learning, I often feel like I'm wasting my time! But, then this happens... EDTE... as soon as I'm done with those two pains in my butt, I bust over to the Education building and every time I walk through those doors I wanna do a victory dance and say "HOLLA!!!!! OW!!!!!!" and moon walk my way to the elevator. I'm tellin ya folks, as soon as my eyes start glancing at education related text I get all giddy. The wheels start rolling and I'm no longer "at school" like I have been the last two hours! I have a Wednesday night class that sadly I've only been able to enjoy once since I've been here, and its PHENOMENAL. Let me repeat that - PHENOMENAL. Those three hours aren't enough. The minds, the personalities, the vibe in there is just JUICY! Mmm, mmm! People are throwing ideas around, stories are being told, we're all inquiring the who what when where why and HOW because, WE. ALL. CARE. Its a 500 level and you can tell (hopefully I can get my ducks in a row and step up to the plate academically) I can't get enough. Even my online course that has a frightening work load for two credits, and extensive amount of additional readings and resources, is a joy. A kick in the pants. An conductive element (brain farting fart fart) of happy go lucky warm fuzzy feelings. I'm pumped. I spent my entire Presidents Day dedicated to catching up and as soon as bad vibes were kicking in, I looked back over my submitted work and discussion postings and checked out updated feedback. SO COOL! Everyone has something great to add! A new story, a new idea, positive feedback! We're not in this class to fill in the blanks (well, maybe) but also to explore the topics in question, discuss them, and check out what our classmates came up with! I love it. I love people talking about how we can change this, adapt to this, relate to this, all for the enhancement of the learning experience we're all out to achieve! Good stuff. Someday I'm going to be really excited to welcome those kids in that first day of school :) Thanks classmates for a wonderful intro and oh so reassuring experience that I am in the right place! Hope all you's peeps is well, I love you :)

happy valentines day to one and ALL x

Who doesn't love Sunday comics? :)

the bright colored paper, full of laughter? Its like.... daisy's and candies. On paper. For free :)


"

yikes homies.

You know what I’d like to know? Who the hell got under MY skin and started making me second guess all the things that I am?! The things I like to do, the things I listen to, the way I dance, the stuff that hangs on my walls, the clothes I wear, the way I talk, the food I eat, when I eat it, the lotion I buy, how often I wash my hair (I take a shower everyday but that doesn’t mean I’m always washin’ my hair!), the things I think are funny, the things I want to do on a Saturday, my half broken IronMan watch, my bright blue backpack from my cousin, burping… the pictures I take, the faces I make. WHY am I constantly looking over my shoulder, jumping with fear, with insecurity, wondering, always on the defense, on the edge, frantic, finicky, RETARDED. I used to not give two shits about a damn thing in life and now I look at everything and cringe not knowing. Okay, well not everything (holla for ice cream!), but most things! UGH. (why, WHY?! did Nick Efta piss me off, make me question, make me insecure, leave me pained, deflated, shaky... he didn't, I let him do it. I was so confused about going to Law School or DU or Nepal that when questioned about my doings in life I faltered and let a sniding acquaintance of the guy I was dating at the time, effect me! WHAT THE FUCK. Was he so miserable that he had to tear me down and was I so uncertain about my direction that I let it GET TO ME?! I took no second thoughts about flying to Alaska to be with Zach, and heard nothing but ridicule for days from Nick while Zach was at work, AND I LET IT BOTHER ME. I respected Nick; he was Zach's "best friend" so naturally I thought the best of him, thus his opinon effected me so? When in reality, who is this guy (head extension forward, pushing chin out to the right)? Peace out, march back to Zach, turn around look matter-of-fact and say,

'I'm here for this guy. I don't give a flying fuck about you, I'm Amy Clerget and I'm here to stay. Take it or leave it, but there aint no time for pity parties.'

God I wish I could turn back time. Give myself a little confidence booster. I'm a bad ass and I don't want to do any harm to anyone or parade around... parading. You're a bad ass too! I just wanna be me. And I want you to wanna be you too. Lets all hang out - there's more to life :) lets not pick things apart and criticize! If you choose, it was a pleasure to meet you, continue on, leaving the presence of each other with nothing less than polite regard! I prefer a smile on ones face, but I'm trying to be realistic :)

Anyway, sometimes I can feel the force again in my breath and in my posture, the classic amy ‘take on all’ way of life, but its fleeting moments. But damn those moments feel good. Its like I took a life Claritin - think tv commercials. :) I stare at pictures, or ponder memories, and I feel like a stranger to myself. People have so much faith in me, I have none. Overstatement, I’ve got some :) I’ve got a lot more than I think I do, but I definitely don’t share the optimism the majority of my friends have who I’ve talked to in the last three months. Some though, are sitting right beside me - they’re not saying “no big deal, you’re amy!” they’re just sittin, talking bout life, tellin a new story, I can’t tell you how good that feels. If I said I feel like I’ve got a lot of weight on my shoulders, what I mean is I feel like I’m walking with my head barely above the ground. Which, hey, I’m cool with that idea (as a matter of a fact, I LIKE it that way. BRING IT ON BIG MAMA - the more the merrier), just right now it’s getting the better of me. I usually have got the world in a bear hug and am just draggin it along as I please doing what I like, acting as tough as Terminator all the while maintaining a Vince Vaun stupor and a carefree outlook not unlike a Sesame Street character. If I had to choose, it’d be Elmo. He’s a sweetheart. :) At any rate, who invited doubt to this party my parents created for me January 9, 1985? And why, WHY, am I allowing him to Eeyore the shit out of my every nerve?!

I sit around and I think, where? I feel like I’m grabbing at air but I don’t really believe there will ever be anything there to grasp - I think its a matter of STOPPING to try and grab anything at’all (spoken with a British accent - it just comes out, don’t hate, I’m not lying) and perhaps swimming along doing as one pleases flowing this way and that all the while keepin your eye on the light that so drives you knowing that its not getting to the light as a reason to wake up in the morning but never losing sight because IT is what you want, what you stand for, the very thing that makes you, you. :)

please please please....

check this out! :)

how incredibly cute this place is. I love it. And it just so happens her name is Amy :) mine probably won't look the EXACT same, but seeing hers is definitely an inspiration, and a ego boost, for my own personality. I, am not alone. :) Thanks McGraw for the site!

... i think its about time to start snapping again.... looked through some pictures of Alaska from a couple years back and I think I might just have to plan a little photo shoot, ala Montana, this weekend :) which yes, I realize is still many days away, but some of the best advice I've ever been given?

"Always have a plan. It might not work out how you thought, but you gotta have a plan." !!

Neeeeeeed a creative outlet. NOW. awww snap diddly wankus. movie making time!? mmm, no, not so much. Too much. AMY. Do. Your. Freaking. Homework. And write something noteworthy will ya?! Like last night, at 3 am when all those grand ideas and thoughts were spewing out your ears, eyes and every other crevice? Write those down. ;) Pft. I was going to post a picture of the one and only Bear Grylls, dream cast husband of the moment - come on! Who wouldn't?! - and as I'm completing his name in the Google search box, number two on the list? "Bear Grylls Wife". Ahhhhhh le sigh. Awesome. :) You go girl.