dont you worry there my honey,

we might not have any money,

but we've got our love to pay the bills.

maybe i think you're cute and funny,

maybe I wanna do, what bunnies do, with you,

if you know what I mean.

you & i.

you & i.

well lets get rich and buy our parents homes in the South of France.

lets get rich and buy everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance.

lets get rich and build a house on the mountain makin everybody look like ants.

from way up there

you might be a bit confused.

and you might be a little bit bruised.

but baby how we spoon like no one else.

so I will help you read those books.

if you will soothe my worried looks.

and we will put the lonesome on the shelf.

you & i.

you & i.

:)

ahhh hello life, its good to see you again :)

This is so freakin fun, and I don't even know what it is that's fun. Make sense? Probably not. I'm not concerned. What I am concerned about is the amount of time that stands between now and DINNER. How far away it is! I'm famished. Anyway.... dudes! I'm close. Its like someone is feeding me cake batter ice cream in the sample spoon from a Gotta Have It bowl. .... its just there, on the edge, this totally rad thing where I may, MAY, be ready. I'm going to BURST! and its AWESOME! Is this like, how, it, can, be, for the rest of time?! Or perhaps on more of a consistent base than it has been the last EIGHT months? Its a really deep pool and I know how awesomely rad it is, but I'm still just... baby steps. buh-bay-bay steeps. But you know what's cool, its like all the sudden you wake up and you're bear hugging the crap out of life again. It's like hey, wanna have some fun? We can have some fun :) i love fun. will you love me because i love to have fun? i love cute things. i like silly people. i like prancing around. frolicking. i love you. it doesn't have to be quoted, fake, particular, cache'd (is that even a word? I feel like it is. It has meaning in my head!) because ew, who wants to spend any more of their life being around someone that makes you feel less than stellar? Romantically or platonically! (use of #2 suspicious word). Its like, wait a second, you mean that I don't have to try and be what everyone wants me to be? I just get to.. be.. who.. I.. want? And I'll still rock? No wonder I loved working in Alaska and traveling New Zealand. I did what I wanted. I was who I was. Its about damn time I saw the light. I am who I am.
B.A.B.Y.S.T.E.P.S.
But damn you, get off my back. There are too many people out there in this rad world. Either jump on the train or get left behind; don't expect me to change my wave. Its a good wave. And I can only say this because its overflowing with love, open arms, and fits of "you can do it!" lets make this world a better place one day at a time kind of essence. Its a passion for life! Not like the sappy goo goo gah kind of love. (trying to rid myself of that nasty saying it just to say it, making a play on words not in truth but because you're good with words - i hate flirting over texts. get real. you aren't fooling anyone. We're both playing each other. Its so shallow isn't it? Saying/creating "sweet nothings". I can do that to anybody. Lies. Its sad really. I'm slightly ashamed that I am guilty of doing just that. Its over. I'm done, in the past. I'm over it, I'm moving on. I want REALITY. Sincerity. I want jokes. I want comfort. Safety. Making fun. Teasing. Honesty. Wit. I wanna be real. And not feel like I'm being judged. I've got shit to do man. I can't fret about what you think of me. I've been bullshitting myself too long, trying to make something, fight for something, I mean since JULY PEOPLE. ew. Best of luck to you. Thank you for everything. Just isn't right. I've got that monkey off my back. My God that feels good. Shake shake shake. anyway, tangent...) Love. For. Everything. and everyone. get some. :)

Wow, enough of that rambling business. It seems that whenever I DON'T have my laptop I've got millions of rad conversations and ideas and opinions and points of view that I want to share and intellectually write about but for some reason all of the above came spewing out instead. Whoops. I'll try harder later. eek. group project. holla.

"if you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." - african proverb.

Neigh what?

Eff the neigh-sayers in your life, don't listen. If they're all you've got, come talk to me, and we'll make it happen. I believe in you. You can do it.

almost asleep.

and in an instant it opens

nevermind a warning

slowly it pours out, over the edge

spreading

warm and shy, comfortable, familiar

quitely, looking up, a small smile forms

will you

please

come stay with me for a while?

found this on my mac a lack :)

The pay off is greater with long-term commitment. That’s the beauty of it. The reward.
The idea.


Can someone say scrooge? perhaps it comes after a year where my departure for en zed was approaching. and i could have been gallivanting off to Nepal this month but no, instead I decide to seriously consider opening a Cold Stone and thus dedicating my general finances and life towards it for the next five years of my life. Bye bye world travels for the time being. In five years? HELLO AFRICA. Yes, I would LOVE to teach you how to start your own company of such that you are so passionate about? Passion you ask? Lets write the definition! And while we're at it, lets shake hands with adversity and tell him we're about to fuck him up. I'm here for you. I want to see you smile. I want to see you succeed and achieve those dreams! But for now, I want to see many Helena-ites carrying around little red Cold Stone cups filled with their favorite creation. P.S. we make cakes too, and I'm so ready to make some bad ass ice cream cakes. And my mom laughed when I said I wanted an ice cream cake for my wedding. Wedding!? Hells no. Ladies and gents, I give myself ten years to at least be capable of having a BOYFRIEND. The whole serious relationship, dedication, marriage, life long happiness stuff is just too foreign to me. I'm more comfortable with things I can put a finger on. Like pushing "purchase" on an Alaska Airlines flight to VEGAS! Lets go Kells!

Wow, that felt good. Breath of fresh aaaaayyyyyyyyyer. Whew. Also feeling good? Taking my auto update thing off Facebook. I'm half considering deleting my account from the site, but shit, who are we kidding? Sometimes though, I think about it..... Or changing my password when I'm wasted so I don't remember what it is. But again, who are we kidding, how often do I get drunk. This time of the year, basketball season not Christmas fools, is more often than normal, but still.

a lot of people go home to feel grounded again, get their feet under them and start fresh. Worst idea for me. Maybe for a week. TOPS. More than that and I start to feel like the walls are closing in and I am swinging at them to bust through, but can't seem to connect. If only I knew where the seam was I would bust through that like Chuck Norris does to the Great Wall of China. If they ever met.

c&hiblvnu

I dare you, while there is still time, to have a magnificent obsession. - William Danforth

all i want, right now, is a huge art studio. yes, at 11:41 in the night the best thing I can think of is living in a place all by myself with an art studio. I would turn on the lights, the music, get into a small tank top and some underwears, be bare foot, and just paint paint paint. With no inhibition. I'd need lots of supplies, and money because I am going to get after it. Dang I could paint for hours right now. The room would be warm the music Citizen Cope/Ingrid Michaelson-ish and massive amounts of painting. I've got a half bottle of wine, an excellent dinner and a few after dinner drinks in me and a most amazingly fun make me smile laugh giddy giggle text in my phone and relationships with friends that feel the most alive than probably they have in a year, that I just can't stand it folks. As fulfilling as it is to pound on my click click keyboard indian style in the middle of my comfy white bed with the bed light on, it aint enough. :) I'm beaming at the screen right now for many reasons none of which deserve to have a distinction because I feel like this is something I don't want to attribute to a specific moment in time but more of a sense of BEING.

Okay, don't want to ruin a good thing :) time for bed. ciao for now, peace out girl scout. mwah.

going to go meet this guy....

Often times a dog walks through our doors that absolutely breaks our hearts and Toby is definitely one of those dogs. There is such an air of sadness about him - some indistinguishable nuance that just tugs at your heart strings. The look in his eye ... the way he carries his head ... just makes you want to hug him and tell him it will all be OK. Toby was a stray and was found out on a ranch in the middle of nowhere - no one knows how he got there or where he came from. Local ads were posted but no one claimed him -- the family that took him in really did not want another dog but they took care of him the best they could and have had Toby since last July. Recently, they decided that this sad boy deserved a family of his own so called us and asked if we would do the honors of finding him that home which we gladly obliged. Toby adores being indoors - his foster family had to force him to go outside to "take care of business" and he would run back to the door with a look in his eyes like "please don't leave me out here - I don't want to be outdoors". Now, he comes and goes out the dog door and enjoys little stints outside but nothing longer than 10 minutes at a time. He is wonderfully housebroke and can go hours and hours without any accident. After several weeks of love and patience at our foster home, Toby is now starting to eat better, wag his tail and even gave his foster mom kisses on the cheek. Truly a very sweet dog who has had some heartbreaking incident that will just take some time, love and patience to work through. Does get along with other dogs but will protect his food if they get close to him while eating - he also has shown that small dogs and cats are to tempting not to chase - so no small animals! Does not like slippery floors but walks fine on rugs if you spread them out for him. Is particularly fond of soft, squishy dog beds! Will bark at the door to go out and come in if he isn't using the dog door. Been thoroughly checked by our veterinarian including blood work and is 100% healthy. Neutered, up to date on shots, wormed and microchipped -- Toby's perfect new home will be one that is quiet and filled with love, patience and understanding - we believe Toby would love a home where he is the only dog or maybe a 2nd but no more than that. Truly, you don't even know this dog is in the house ... he happily sleeps on his dog bed most of the day and is about as low impact as any dog we've had come through our program. Toby needs a rescue angel to mend his heart and spend the rest of his days with ... would that be you?

..... im going to go find out :) its a beautiful day for a drive and there is only one way to know! I don't even usually like Husky's, but something about this guy has me loving.

wordle!

give it a try!
Kind of fun and the possibilities are endless. We had to do these as part of an integration assignment for Computers in Education. *fun*fun*

unwritten rules.

Ahhhhhhhhh nestled, nah, perched/placed in my seat at a new shop - Off The Leaf. I can dig it here. The atmosphere is upbeat (probably due to the jazz bouncing along in the background) and the best part is the windows FACE THE SUN. I can’t stand missing out on the rays! If a girl has to be inside (barf) and facing a computer screen (barf x2) it might as well be in a room filled with sunshine! It has to be! Its not coffee shop esque here. Its chill. Its campus-ey. Without the campus. You’ve got a friendly High School couple to your left obviously just enjoying the friendship, deep in humorous conversation, the upper 20 couple of dudes with Keen shoes, Hurley hats and Polos hunched over a couple of textbooks with their papers spread about; there is the father son duo right behind me (-:)), the kind and cute well groomed 17-19 year old reading a little Dan Brown (holla!) with his white in house mug on the table in front of him. More High School girls? I can’t place females, I’m horrible at it. You know what? I think its the carpet; no echos give this place its homey feeling. What else? Its track season baby, dang its track season. Calling the school tomorrow. I’d love to be out watching my kids run round the track and helping them hone their hurdling skills right now. Homework? I can do that at night! You can’t create all-stater’s just any day of the year ya know…. best part about this place, I noticed it right off, my back pack twin is here! Didn’t know I had one, but I do! You can mistake the bright blue LL BEANER baby!

oh. the unwritten rule. must buy tea when in shop to study.

today’s tea is a black berry of some sort. the kind they put in a bag for you. i’ve never seen a bag like this one. its open at the top. HUGE chunks of flavor seep seep seepin. Its pretty good. I’m here for the water :)

and the sun.

I like this joint.

Place. I don’t smoke weed. Or condone it. Barf x3.