amy rocks, okay?

"But, what am I going to do in Florida ?" I asked Adam as I could feel it begin to sink in that we would live there someday. Someday soon. We were on a house-hunting, property discovery trip with my father after he had returned from the Philippians and was feeling like it may be a bit too far for him. And a bit too lonely with the language barrier and the area he was most interested in living. But the sun, he said. And the fruit. All his aches and pains subsided and he looked younger than I can recall seeing him in my entire life. There was new life in his face and that giddy goofiness that cause all who meet him to quickly have an affinity for his company. So, when Adam and I were visiting Florida over the holidays, enjoying the sounds of the ocean and wrapping up by the fire in merely a blanket or optional hoody, my dad crossed my mind. I got it. I love that life, too. And I could imagine it being mine, and why couldn't it also be his? It's no secret the old...

I'm so incredibly torn on this subject. Having run through this part of town recently and feeling incredibly unsafe, I immediately have one strong reaction to this article. However, being with someone in the affordable housing national real estate market and able to hear first hand the figures on the market and effects of the Seattle economy on the local affordable housing market, makes me think twice about my opinion. It's a difficult subject with a gnawingly frustrating sol ution. With my short stint in Australia, I was able to enjoy a thriving metropolitan area with similar demographics to Seattle in terms of age and affluence, but they managed their homelessness quite well. What is it that we're doing wrong, or could be doing differently? I don't know. I wish I did, but for the very reason we're in this place reading these articles, no one really knows. It sure as hell ain't easy. Read and listen:  Amid Seattle's Affluence, Homelessness Also Flourishes

So cliche, but I can't help myself. Here I sit, yet again, at the start of a new adventure and this time, I am finding it a little more troubling than usual to get my feet underneath me and start producing. I suppose that is because the stakes are higher because in the end, it's the same as it's always been, but now with so much riding on it, I don't find myself rising to the occasion, but rather experiencing complete deer-in-the-headlights effect. Which is odd. And it could change. I bet you if I went back into my journals and read the entry's that were around the times in which I was starting a new journey, they would all have the same sentiment. And slowly, over time, I would be writing less in the journal, and kicking more butt in the real world. I had been asking God to challenge me, to push me, to get me in a situation where I no longer had excuses and was forced to be the best version of myself. To grow professionally in the ways that I wanted to grow, ...

I get so antsy sometimes. And in a life long ago, I would tamper the antsy-ness with baking. Which then turned into cooking after I got smart and purchased some out of this world cooking books. Discovering recipes that were extremely challenging and had lists of ingredients I never heard of before, were an utter joy. A challenge to accept. A reason to drink a bottle of wine and dance around the kitchen! Anyway, my loving man has found a new favorite thing - cooking. You would have never guessed it. I would have never guessed it! But coming home and busting out his defrosted protein and whipping up an accompanying veggie is his new favorite thing. As such, mine too! But then comes a time when the itch starts to kick in again and all I want to do is cook. I want to chop and wiggle my hips and stir and mix, and sting my eyes with the scent of onion and hydrate my face with steam from beneath the lid. I want to YouTube "how to slice fennel" and wait not-so-patiently as the seed...

This could fall on my shoulders and I may look past it years from now and regret how I handled the situation, but like all other times in my life when I didn't know what to do or where to go, I took what I knew at the time, made the best decision I could based off that information, and powered forward. It doesn't hurt to check in now and again to reevaluate where you are and make sure you're on the path you intend to be and can be proud of, but at a certain point, when you're just getting started, sometimes you just have to pick up your bags and go - because the alternative, staying still, in the moment, in the head-space, is more dangerous and detrimental than the move. I have always felt that if you weren't moving forward you were moving backward, and any direction is better than no direction. Or, as my cousin once told me, always have a plan. It doesn't matter if you stick to the plan, but you always have to have a plan. Because if you don't, you'...

This time it's just that my battery is threatening to take my mac to nap land. And I'm already down at the shop with no charger, but I want to get these few quotes preserved before it's too late and they go in the trash with the rest of them. The hazards of being a member of a daily quote calendar. "To hide the key to your heart is to risk forgetting where you placed it." - Timothy Childers "The giving of love is an education in itself." - Eleanor Roosevelt "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. He was a doctor! He was a doctor. It's not that I never knew that, but I suppose I hadn't really ever given it much thought. And it's quite the achievement. I wonder what kind of doctor he was. My thoughts are clearly unable to go much deeper this early in the morning, so I'm going to quit while I'm ahead.

I. Love. This. Dog.

Purchased this book from a list . Tyler Knott's book was on the list. And the title of the list is absolutely right up my alley. 5 Introspective Books On Life, Love, And Finding Your Way That Every Old Soul Should Read The first paragraph chapter, was slightly overwhelming with it's talk on the paradox of self-denial. There were a lot of words like self-renunciation, exaltation of consciousness, insight degenerating into another precept, etc. It's chock full of sentences that you have to read over and over, or you can skim and find yourself at the end of the chapter not with the ability to say "this is what the book said" but more, "this is how it made me feel". You follow?  Anyway, the second chapter, which is feeling like the actual introduction, was hands down, rock my world, soup for the soul, the warm hand that affirmed why I purchased the book in the middle of holiday shopping when I spent $800 more than I had intended to. Fuck.  So...

One heck of an impactful clip. A story I won't spoil in my own words. It's worth the 6:43 you'll spending watching. And the extra 10 when you go back again to hear certain parts of his story because they move you and inspire you and make you want to be a BIGGER, deeper you.   I am fortunate enough not to have a terminal disease, but where it forced this man to go, is the same reason I love to travel. To explore. Adventure. Because we live in a beautiful place and we are such a tiny piece of it. To spend time fussing about the unimportant things is laughable when we could spend our time enjoying it. Appreciating it. And sharing our love for all the living things. Give yourself a quickened heartbeat this morning and listen to his story. "I want to be vulnerable in life. I want to be in places that scare me and be in situations that scare me, and bring me closer to the things I love." "...give up control on the beach, I saw my thank you's and step into...

THIS is what makes the Seahawks unstoppable. You can't buy this kind of passion, talent. You have to believe in it and it will find you. My applause goes to the leadership team for attracting these athletes and proving to the nation that courage and heart is all it takes. Go Hawks!

That low tide is awesome. Falcor and I ran down to the pier, said a quick prayer, and then jetted down on the beach and back home on it the entire way. A couple of cranes, some rock jumping and puddle splashing and boom, one mile down! How rad to be grateful for the moment in the moment!? I also learned that running without a phone or watch is quite liberating! You just sort of, run. At any pace you like and it's the perfect pace because it's the one you choose. It's not one you force out because you're not going as fast as you thought you were or as fast as you wanted to, you just run. I have a feeling I'm probably farting along at a pretty slow pace, but it gives me the energy and ability to focus hard on my posture, core strength and stride. I can tell I manage my right leg much better and keep from whipping it out in the trail leg motion which I have a feeling should do wonders for me hip. And instead of putting on the pressure on my hammy's, I'm able ...

And now I just want to eat away my emotions. And also drink them away. Is this an annual thing? Last year at this time I was post breakup with David and drank a couple of whiskeys a night. Now, it’s December again and here I am trying to come to grips with my Dad and am still aching for those whiskeys. I guess the good part is I haven’t drank whiskey in practically a month? I can’t freaking remember the last time I had one to tell you the truth. And they are SO GOOD! Okay fine, I’ll just drink red wine. We go through bottles of it here like a family of four boys goes through gallons of milk. A LOT. I’m going to find myself something to watch on the boob tube. I guess. I don’t much feel like reading. Fuck, I don’t feel like doing anything. Is it terrible that I just want to sit and stare into space? I hate social media. It’s made me a freak.  My computer says that the battery isn’t charging when I have it plugged in. I need to get this shit looked at. Perhaps this weekend I’ll ...

I gave up on photography. I can remember the moments that I started to say things like "What's the point? I'm no good. No one looks at these anyway; I don't even like what I'm taking." There was a point where I think I was pretty much disgusted about everything I said or did in life. That was a pretty low point. I can remember taking pictures for the sake of just taking pictures! Because it's fun! And that's it! Just plain old fun! You don't take photos for someone else - like most things, you do it for you! Because you want to and it brings you joy. Photography is an art form and there is no right or wrong. Whatever it is you see in a moment is GOOD. Because it spoke to you, it meant something to you. There is beauty in all things. We only must change our looking glass to see it. It's funny how that works. A person could buy themselves an amazing piece of equipment, go out into the world, point it at all the right things, and be a photogra...