November 5, 2014

A Tuesday Night Provided by Frasier.

Ice Cream Edition

When life gets you down, the way I see it, you have two roads to choose from. You either face it head on or sit down on the curb and cry for some ice cream. The problem I have found myself in is that I convince myself into facing it head-on because that’s the noble thing (and sometimes only option), when really all I want is to sit on the curb and have some ice cream. But, what happens is you get sad sitting on the curb with your ice cream when you don’t have anyone to sit with. So, instead of feeling sorry for yourself on two accounts, you chin up and carry on with it. Which truly works fine for the time being - I quite like it! But then a few months pass by and those feelings you ran through, quite literally, come creeping back when you’re supposed to have moved on. And now you really don’t have anyone to connect with on the matter, because the rest of the people in your life not only assume you’re past it, but they’ll wonder what’s wrong with you when they find out you’re still hung up on it.

The thought I must interject here – THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST MISERABLE, ALIENATING, LONESOME FEELINGS YOU COULD EVER EXPERIENCE.

So what do you do now? Process what’s left unanswered inside of you. Hold nothing back. What you’re feelng is just and must come out some time! Perhaps your grieving period, yep, we’re calling it that, comes later than others. We all know that each of us process grief differently. The important thing to remember and I cannot emphasize this enough, is if you know someone who is going through a traumatic time, put nothing on them. Because the process has begun much later than you would expect, doesn’t mean that it’s any different than had it started the day of or after the moment of trauma. However, none of this self loathing or unwillingness to move on business. Come on now – you’re alive, and you only have one of these, so make the most of it. In that same vein where I believe a person should feel their grief to it’s full extent, we also must feel  and experience our life’s potential and opportunity for joy! Man, I am no expert on the subject so I feel like I should quit while I’m ahead. I’m only speaking from experience up to this point but hopefully someday I’ll be better able to advise on the remainder of this part. Hang in there and hold their hand and remind them of what’s important in life and what’s to come. They won’t be able to see that because their lost in their own emotional mess. We, they, need you to sit by their side and provide nudges of motivation, hope and direction for someone who cannot see.

Erin Kells. Janelle Axtell. Adam Brown. I thank you.




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