Tis true.

Honey, you and me, we've got plans. Big plans :)

From a song, From my Mom

When I graduated from Gonzaga my mom snuck up into my room amongst all the busyness and put a series of quotes on my wall :) in true teacher form, on those penmanship strips of paper that teach you where the top of a “c” goes and how long to make your “y’s, g’s, and j’s” :) 

This worlds gone crazy and it’s hard to believe that tomorrow will be better than today… believe it anyway.

You can chase a dream that seems o out of reach and you know it might not ever come your way… dream it anyway.

You can love someone with all your heart for all the right reason and in a moment they can choose to walk away… love them anyway.

You can spend your whole life building something from nothing, one storm can come and blow it all away… build it anyway. 

-Martina McBride

I wonder...

How many people read this? Who are you? I get emails, messages, texts and references often and am always shocked that there is someone else out there that knows the url of my tumblr besides me, my mom, and of course Vanessa. :) I think part of not knowing keeps me from disclosing things and being able to write about what I really do want to write about and share. It’s scary you know? Putting it out there and expressing your thoughts because, well, who’s reading it? I know that part of blogging means that you aren’t supposed to care and that’s the “beauty of it”, but I find myself feeling the complete opposite of that approach. Cue fear of rejection of complete strangers? WHICH IS INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING IN WAYS I CANNOT DESCRIBE EXCEPT THAT SOMETIMES IT GETS SO BAD MY TUMMY MUSCLES HURT because truly folks, I don’t expect you to care, that’s not why I write. I don’t know why I write, why I think, or why I feel the need to write it all freaking down. 

I  JUST DO! I ask and I ask and I ask myself, but I have no answer. It’s come time that I give up and accept it as is. It reminds me of the night I was chatting with Molly in college and she spoke a statement that hit me so it’s stuck with me since…“Turns out who you were are all along is exactly who you were meant to be?”Can’t help it people - we are exactly who are meant to be and I have no choice but to write and express ridiculous opinions in some format and it just so happens that the “compose” box in Tumblr is the place I tend to feel pretty comfortable in. Yes I have journals, but you tell me, who can write that fast? I literally think so fast that I forget what I was thinking. No it’s not A.D.D. I just get bored with thoughts and move on. They either have to be challenging, interesting or capable of becoming so, or I’m on to the next thing. I wonder if that’s the realistic definition of A.D.D. Who gives a crap? The fact that my late boss made it known to me that people in the office talked about “my A.D.D.” is infuriating enough. EXCUSE ME?! When did you get a PhD and start handing out diagnosis’ and condone talk of “disabilities” without one knowing it was going on!? Anyway, it’s like people diagnosing Autistic children & those with Aspurgers to be troubled. HA. Seriously? Let’s let go of western thoughts and realize the intense and insane capability these people hold. Put them in the right environment and watch them spin circles around the sun. I kid you not. The brightest person I know is so grossly diagnosed with those two disabilities to the point where he should have gone to a special school. The kid scores an IQ that’s out of this world. And he’s fucking rad. 

I’ll take a friend with aspergers and a personality over a book nerd surgeon ANY DAY.

Somewhere along the way it happened. And I think you had EVERYTHING to do with it :)

Sometimes it just hits and I really CAN'T help it. For those of you not goo goo gah over someone, be warned. But this is my life tonight before I picked up my book and I wasn't about to let it go :)

I never realize how much I'm going to miss you until its too late and you've gone. But laying here thinking of you, instantly opens the gates of memories and thoughts which remind me of how much I am so wonderfully lucky to have you in my life. If this is love, than I think I'd like to officially join the club :)

If you haven't checked out this cooking/recipe blog, I HIGHLY recommend it. The boys especially :)

Seriously folks. Takes five minutes of your time to read one post and the chuckle you get out of it will no doubt be rewarding. It's a comic recipe cooking blog! It's like Calvin and Hobbs meets food with a side of comedic ninja! What else were you going to do with those five minutes that will make you giggle and put some perspective on the snobbish assholes that we share the world with?! If your answer is: Come up with a witty snap-crack joke and make myself laugh - then write that down and share it with the world. Some of us aren't that funny on our own time ;)

Excerpt: As the recipe makes its rounds on the internet I get sporadic influxes of comments and emails etc. and I’ve gotten so much flack for that syrup that I figured I’d go ahead and put this out there:  I don’t care what kind of syrup you use.  I don’t care if you use syrup at all.  Whether you want to slather your pancakes with honey mustard or tap the finest, mapleiest syrup straight out of a tree, I don’t care.  As long you think it tastes good, that’s all that matters.  And I happen to like “fake” syrup (and its price tag).  It’s what I grew up with.  So why do you care?  I get that you don’t like it and that’s fine.  But, I’ve never said that anyone has to use exactly the same brand of ingredients that I do.  That would be ridiculous.  It never once mentions “Log Cabin” in text anywhere on the recipe.  It’s just in that one picture because it’s what I personally used.  I’m not trying to sell it.  So when someone writes “God, I can’t believe he used Log Cabin.  FAIL”  it comes off, to me, like a desperate grab for some false sense of superiority.  Like, “haha look how dumb and uninformed that guy is compared to me and my real syrup.”  Come on.  Syrup?  Really?  That’s going to be your measuring stick for the character of a person?  The only thing pettier than that is a singer named Tom.

it's not just needles. it's heaven.

Today is my sixth day of acupuncture in Portland and coupled with physical therapies once a week, I feel better in my life than ever before. Maybe since i was 13. This street takes me to the calming place where I have 30-50 needles poked into my backside (some quite literally my BACKSIDE) and I’m left to feel the muscles pulse, shake, twist and quiver for forty minutes. The instrumental music, soft lighting and calming water are offensive at first because all I want to do is yak - the muscles are causing internal organs I never knew I had to churn in discomfort but soon to transform via pure utter liquid conformity to how the human body should be. After my palms are dotted with perspiration and I’ve breathed deep enough to fill a blimp, she leaves me on the heated bed and will be back in fifteen minutes to check in. THIS my friends, is where it gets GOOD. At first you can’t get yourself to calm down despite having the lights off and a fleece blanket spread over you, well, as much of you as it can with needles going down both sides of your spine and in the toosh. But bit by bit those inner muscles that were doing a dance begin to MELT. Just slowly fizzle to deflated crack balloons that now feel like a combination of literally soft butter, a baby’s bottom and a lambs coat. Commence drool. One time the release hit so hard I found myself crying a small pond on the floor below me. Today more than three hours later I still have the rings on my face from the head holder. The forty minutes feel like forever at first but you find yourself somewhere it seems no one can reach you and you’ve forgotten time exists altogether. And this is coming from someone who’s brain DOES NOT STOP. I even wake in the morning with a song already playing in my head but during this appointment when I’m not distracted by the spontaneous pokes and jibes as muscles progress toward letting go, it all stops and I get one step closer to knowing what it feels like to stand or sit without experiencing any pain. Oh to be free.

Sometimes, do you ever want to tell the world to fuck off?

I do.

he he he :) thank the lord for video cameras!

we could all use a little more muppet in the streets action :)

"LOOK,

I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for 
life is the very opposite of death, 
and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, 
or 
you're not alive.

mel brooks

oh yea. ohhhhh yea.

DUDES. It  may not be the beginning, and there may be bad weather in store, but I can't deny the feeling when I walked out the front door this morning, spotted a speck of blue sky, and felt the warm temperate air..... SPRING!!!! GOOD LORD, BRING IT ON! Mother Nature, next week if you wanna rain and spit some some more, fine by me. Because right now, this brings hope. And while this may sound a little over dramatic and quite drastic to be blogging about, someone who feeds off sunshine and has been living in Portland from October to le' present, this is HUGE! It's going to be a good day. Lets bake! Lets walk! Lets skip about!... VEGAS IN THREE!

im not saying ANYTHING, but these are gorgeous.

its not easy, but someone's gotta do it!

Kayleah: woot woot

make some money

then give it to me

me: yes ma'am

no ma'am

give to the dave and amy travel the world and change it foundation

strike that, the make it better foundation

Kayleah: so thats what you guys are doing everytime you travel?

me: DUH

and we have some beers, but we ALWAYS leave a place happier than we found it

ambassadors of awesome happiness

Kayleah: wow

Kayleah: put that on your business card

I SHOULD! :)

how many big brothers can do this?!?!? :)

just got this wiff of awesome from Helena, Montana where the big brother is adding on to his own shop/shed where he works on and keeps all of his awesome toys. Yes, I used awesome twice in that sentence and it was awesome. because these are awesome. i have a thesaurus on my bookshelf but at times like this i see no need to use it.

GO DANNO.

"That side wall was a real pain to stand up on my own! I don't know what it weighed but it's 16 feet long and 10 feet tall on 16 inch centers so, it weighed plenty! Going to be so nice!!!!"

"These trees were all victims of the illustrious Rocky Mountain Pine Beetle so all they were going to do is burn up in a forest fire. I just wish I could show all environmentalists how much us farm boys actually save the planet."

and my favorite of all...

BELTFED.

Ten bucks to the person who guesses what he's referring to first :) Clerget family, you can't play.

daily zen.

When you want to fix your past and change your life today, you can't be stuck on everything you've done yesterday.

Forgive yourself and others, and move onto finding what you can create fresh, today.

FINALLY! This is what we like to SEE!

This awesome little message appeared in my Inbox this morning and I couldn't be happier.

Its about damn time Gonzaga.

Who cares if the school bought out the Kennel Club?! THEY CAN'T BUY YOUR SOUL! (okay, okay, a bit cheesy, but COME ON!) Its time for a freaking revolution! Don't lose sight of what makes that gym one of the toughest places to play in the country you tards! You're a ZAG! BE A ZAG!!!!! Too bad we had to lose two shitty conference games in a row and toy with the idea of losing a third for the first time since the early 90's. DUDES. Knock that crap off. Drink some beers, talk some smack, and lose your damn voices.

GO ZAGS.

QUE MESSAGE....

Hey Zags!

It's finally here- Game Day. St. Mary's has no idea what they're in for. After 91 tents camping out (a school record!) I know this is going to be the loudest the Kennel has ever been. So get ready, and here's a few things to do before tip off at 8:

1. Join the "Poke the Other Team" Event- basically you join, and then you poke the St. Mary's players as much as you can. Why wait until they're in the Kennel to get in their heads? Post to the wall saying how many times you poked, and who, so we know how amazing you are!
Link to the event here-
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=181308218576678

2. Sign-making and tailgating before the game right next to the line- we bring the posters, pens, big heads (one of EACH player!), hot dogs, hamburgers, and AMP, you bring your ideas and an appetite!

Some sign ideas to get your creative juices flowing:
What the Hael is a Gael?
St. Mary's likes it Down Under!
Gael is a girl's name.
You get the idea!

3. Study up- Like true GU students, we do our research. So read the newsletter to get the dirt on St. Mary's, and watch the videos of our new cheers and get ready to yell these loud!

That's all, comrades! Get psyched today, because in the Kennel today we are going to RUTHLESS. St. Mary's is going down.

Love,
your KC Board

ten minutes on USA Today and WOW.

Little snip of marketing ingenuity - or rather a big SCREW YOU on the price tag of a Super Bowl commercial and a sure fire way to make us love Papa J. anyway. Well, as long as we get an overtime.

"Each of 2010's advertisers that turned thumbs down this year has a different reason. Among the most interesting is Papa John's, which Monday will announce plans to give a free large pizza to every American — if the Super Bowl goes into its first-ever overtime. The catch: You must sign up for its online loyalty program before game day (Feb. 6)." SIGN UP! SIGN UP!

Now comes this bit, it seems we just dumb down and become as ambiguous as we can about the BAD news so it doesn't make headlines with dramatic searchable keywords. We'll just sort of kind of maybe this is what happened we're not really sure, tell the story.

I'm sorry, why isn't this a bit of a bigger deal?! Former Chief of staff, dead. The Fire Dept found heavy smoke and fire coming from a garage at the back of the home. Once firefighters extinguished the flames, they discovered a person inside a sport-utility vehicle. Better yet...."Piringer said the fire apparently started after the vehicle crashed into something, perhaps inside the garage, and the victim was unable to get out."

Right, yea, that makes sense.

Or how about the destined for success Yale student hitting it hard as he LEAPS OFF THE 86TH FLOOR OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING in "an apparent suicide jump"?! How apparent can it be people? Its okay, they wrapped it up with a nice fact buffer. So you're kid can go to Yale too."The Empire State Building is the third-tallest building in the United States. More than 30 people have committed suicide at the building since it opened in 1931. The most recent was believed to have been in 2006." That's cool, we're not even clear about the last time? "Hmm, anybody remember when those tourists from Kansas were visiting New York in what 2006? And all the sudden, haha, that body landed RIGHT in front of them on the sidewalk!?"

All ranting aside, I leave you with this. Homeless people causing a ruckus in a Burger King is no "new" news, but an employee hitting them so hard they die of brain trauma? That's new.

complete awesomeness.

this just warms the heart right up. a wonderful vid (and guy) that my brother sent me. if he's able to be relaxed around these guys and communicate with them he means no harm, can you imagine how comfortable kickin it with him on a sunny afternoon would be?

steven gray. AND GONZAGA.

As part of its mission, the university "encourages its students to develop certain personal qualities: self-knowledge, self-acceptance, a restless curiosity, a desire for truth, a mature concern for others and a thirst for justice.''

Great article about Steven Gray about a special that was featured on The Mark Few Show - check it out dudes. It'll inspire you like school did all over again :)

"Go into the world and do well. but more importantly, go into the world and do good."

-minor myers jr. -

sailing forums can be quite warming!

Hello jenny5,

Happy Birthday from your friends at Cruisers Forum; we wish you all the best in the year to come.
May your boat be leak free.
May your sails be in good repair.
May the winds be fair, the weather kind and
May your days be filled with the exquisite pleasure of new adventures, fabulous destinations and excellent friendship.

Happy Birthday!

I joined this website a year or so ago when I was looking into the in's and out's of sailing from Alaska to Hawaii. The idea is still there, just need to get a little more motivated, back on my feet, some wind in my sails ;) thanks for the reminder Cruisers!

i miss this place.

my fridge.

my awesome nepali flag dawning staircase

and my chalkboard wall (no, you weren't allowed to paint your apartment, but who's looking?!)

i also seriously miss my bright and cheery bathroom every morning :(

there's a lot of things I miss about that awesome apartment I had for like, three months? i wanna go back somedays...

found this...

in an old textbook of mine; called Stumbling Upon Happiness - Daniel Gilbert.

"...you ever have that state of enlightenment where you can feel it all throughout your body, inside emotionally, outside physically, the tingle the butterfly the constant jolt of your muscles making you warm excited alert witty laughter has never come so easy it seems you cant' smile without laughing for any reason. You feel it all throughout the roar comes from w/in your stomach - ev muscle in your body feels as though it laughing - giving to the effort. The event. You seem/feel eager, alive, ready to love and listen to all that is said. You no longer care about what you're saying or what you'll be doing. You only care that those who are around you are happy and will be there in the future or that they will be doing something that makes them happy benefits them in some way and you'll sleep better knowing that! "

pshhhh. :)

its a great day!

Registered for Arabic! We start Monday! Ooooooooooooooooh susan, this will be a doosey.

When I returned our make the time fly audio books to the library I picked up a "River Running Basics" dvd to start like an amateur and learn what this awesome red beasty boat I got for Christmas is all about! She's a stellar looking second hand kayak and I couldn't be more THRILLED! Thanks Fam! I'm so freakin pumped to dominate the sport and become a bit of an expert on tips, tricks, gear, and the basic skills. I dream of being a confident kayaker that knows what she's doin out on the water and can take a friend or two someday and help them enjoy it too! Anyway, I'm stoked about learning the basics :) Normally I'd just go put myself in at the top of a river and see what happens, the way I have with ANY physical activity I've ever tried but water can be freakin ruthless and if I'm going out there alone, I kind of want to know what the hell I'm doing. Sort of. In a round about way :) Its like rock climbing. You can't really just go out and tie some ropes in a knot and call it good. I guess you could say I'm gearing myself up for some educated outdoor learned skills so when we attempt Rainier I'm not so offended to sit and listen to someone tell me how to do it right. There comes a time for messing around and a time to get serious. How I miss the days of buying a motorcycle, doning my helmet with a giant AMY on the visor and lettin 'er rip! good golly, i wish i had that picture handy.

no coincidence that today's quote on the daily calendar was,

"A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip!"

thank you Mary Engelbreit for thinking of me! :)

We're off to Sonoma tomorrow! :) I'm a lucky girl. Last birthday spent skiing at Red Lodge with great friends, burgers, and Gonzaga Basketball; this year, wine country with David for three days! Going to be a great weekend of wine tasting and touring, I absolutely cannot wait. For as lame as that may sound (don't old farts usually do the wine tasting?), us two could not be more pumped to take off in search of some semi-warmer weather and hopefully a ray or two while debating which road to turn down and are we ready to sample some more grapes? Why yes, I think we are. We dabbled a bit in the sport this summer once or twice so it'll be fun to get back to "the good ol' days". HA. Aw man, this'll be a blast. The place we're staying comes with complimentary wine as well so I think its fair to say our tongues are about to receive a lashing; I couldn't be happier. Goodbye dreary Portlandia January Blues!

This post needs some life, may I present my brosif, he's pretty awesome.

he he, so is this guy :)

ah how i love this place.

made a trip back to Spokane for the new year and a little home court action - absolutely amazing.

" And now let us welcome the New Year. Full of things that have never been."