ahhh hello life, its good to see you again :)

This is so freakin fun, and I don't even know what it is that's fun. Make sense? Probably not. I'm not concerned. What I am concerned about is the amount of time that stands between now and DINNER. How far away it is! I'm famished. Anyway.... dudes! I'm close. Its like someone is feeding me cake batter ice cream in the sample spoon from a Gotta Have It bowl. .... its just there, on the edge, this totally rad thing where I may, MAY, be ready. I'm going to BURST! and its AWESOME! Is this like, how, it, can, be, for the rest of time?! Or perhaps on more of a consistent base than it has been the last EIGHT months? Its a really deep pool and I know how awesomely rad it is, but I'm still just... baby steps. buh-bay-bay steeps. But you know what's cool, its like all the sudden you wake up and you're bear hugging the crap out of life again. It's like hey, wanna have some fun? We can have some fun :) i love fun. will you love me because i love to have fun? i love cute things. i like silly people. i like prancing around. frolicking. i love you. it doesn't have to be quoted, fake, particular, cache'd (is that even a word? I feel like it is. It has meaning in my head!) because ew, who wants to spend any more of their life being around someone that makes you feel less than stellar? Romantically or platonically! (use of #2 suspicious word). Its like, wait a second, you mean that I don't have to try and be what everyone wants me to be? I just get to.. be.. who.. I.. want? And I'll still rock? No wonder I loved working in Alaska and traveling New Zealand. I did what I wanted. I was who I was. Its about damn time I saw the light. I am who I am.
B.A.B.Y.S.T.E.P.S.
But damn you, get off my back. There are too many people out there in this rad world. Either jump on the train or get left behind; don't expect me to change my wave. Its a good wave. And I can only say this because its overflowing with love, open arms, and fits of "you can do it!" lets make this world a better place one day at a time kind of essence. Its a passion for life! Not like the sappy goo goo gah kind of love. (trying to rid myself of that nasty saying it just to say it, making a play on words not in truth but because you're good with words - i hate flirting over texts. get real. you aren't fooling anyone. We're both playing each other. Its so shallow isn't it? Saying/creating "sweet nothings". I can do that to anybody. Lies. Its sad really. I'm slightly ashamed that I am guilty of doing just that. Its over. I'm done, in the past. I'm over it, I'm moving on. I want REALITY. Sincerity. I want jokes. I want comfort. Safety. Making fun. Teasing. Honesty. Wit. I wanna be real. And not feel like I'm being judged. I've got shit to do man. I can't fret about what you think of me. I've been bullshitting myself too long, trying to make something, fight for something, I mean since JULY PEOPLE. ew. Best of luck to you. Thank you for everything. Just isn't right. I've got that monkey off my back. My God that feels good. Shake shake shake. anyway, tangent...) Love. For. Everything. and everyone. get some. :)

Wow, enough of that rambling business. It seems that whenever I DON'T have my laptop I've got millions of rad conversations and ideas and opinions and points of view that I want to share and intellectually write about but for some reason all of the above came spewing out instead. Whoops. I'll try harder later. eek. group project. holla.

"if you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." - african proverb.